Downtown
by FifteenthVector
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER UP! Haruhi has always secretly aspired to be an artist, and when she and Mei are given the chance to attend the Tokyo art convention, she has to say yes. But why is Mei so devious?
1. Who is that?

**A/N: In this fic, Haruhi & Mei both go to Ouran. Haruhi has never met Kyoya, however. **

"That guy is hot, isn't he? None of the other guys here are even kinda attractive, but he looks like a model. Maybe he IS a model. I wonder if I could get his number for you. You think he'd give you his number? Haruhi? Are you listening to me? He-ll-o? Snap out of it!"

Haruhi hadn't heard a thing Mei had said. Having been friends with Mei for eight years had taught her that when Mei saw a guy she thought would be suitable for Haruhi, she could chatter excitedly about him for hours. And once she got bored of talking about the guy, Mei would be driven to what Haruhi would call "ridiculous plans." To Haruhi, what Mei tended to do was drastic. To Mei, what she did was baby steps. She would, without fail, give said hot guy Haruhi's number and say that Haruhi was attractive and _very _single.

One time on vacation in Hokkaido, Mei had given this model Haruhi's number; the guy had called her five times, ten minutes after they saw him and he referred to himself in third person only. While this was weird enough, his vocabulary appeared to be composed solely of words such as 'buff' and 'devilishly handsome'. Mei had learned her lesson that, even if a guy is hotter than she believed possible, she should make sure he isn't certifiably insane first.

So whenever Mei began to muse on the possibilities of this guy or that, Haruhi just tuned her out, knowing that if she gave any acknowledgement or, heaven forbid, actually _complied_ with one of Mei's schemes, something awful would happen. Be it crazed models or that hobo on the street who had only wanted their left shoes, bad things came from Mei's plans.

Now that she thought about it, Haruhi realized the guy Mei had pointed out was _very _hot. He had a lean build; muscular but still sleek. His hair was jet black, and when he turned to glare at the boy behind him, Haruhi saw that his eyes were such a dark shade of brown they were really black. The color was gorgeous – onyx or obsidian. The light from a skylight reflected from his glasses and flashed in Haruhi's eyes. When she could see through the colors, all Haruhi could make out was his distant figure.

BZZZZ! Haruhi jumped – her phone was vibrating in her pocket and had interrupted her staring. Reluctantly, she picked it up and answered without checking the caller idea as she normally did. Bad idea.

"The Matt-sama calling. So, are you doing anything tonight? He's in a modeling show, and would like to have you watch him…" Freaked out that 'Matt-sama' the creeper had found her number _again_, Haruhi shrieked, hung up, and then threw her phone as hard as she could.

Mei couldn't stop laughing. "He found your number again? I thought you had it unlisted and his number blocked."

"So did I." she grumbled, irritated that she'd have to get another number, and more likely than not another phone.

Now that he had stopped calling, Haruhi went and grabbed the phone to assess the damage. _Crap. Dad's going to kill me._ The back and sides of the phone looked relatively unscathed, but the screen had cracks spider webbed across the side. _I've gone through three phones in as many months. _Her dad never seemed satisfied with her explanations about why her phones never lasted long.

Haruhi's dad worked at a phone store on the side – his main job was as a bartender at a gay bar. The phone store deal was an extraordinarily boring job, but at least they got free phones, calling plans, etc. out of the deal.

Haruhi's father had some pretty stiff expectations of her – her mother had been a successful lawyer before she passed, and her father wanted her to follow in her mother's footsteps and run the courtroom. Haruhi wanted nothing less than a life lying; a life of putting up facades and dealing with criminals. Nothing seemed worse than a life composes of argument, anger, and sorrow.

One of the reasons he was so adamant about Haruhi being a lawyer was that he hated being poor, and wanted so much more for his daughter. Money was pretty tight around their house. Haruhi thought that is was because the job didn't pay much, when actually her dad spent much of his paycheck on entrance to high-class gay bars. His secret ambition was to own one instead of just working at one, and his justification for the money spent was that he was conducting research.

"Look at the bright side - at least you can still make calls." Mei consoled her, having not moved from the very comfortable leather couch they had both been sitting on. Before the phone commotion, they had been sitting on said couch in one of the relatively smaller areas of the Peninsula's ground floor lobby. The walls were actually glass windows offering panoramic views of downtown Tokyo; the floors were a light crème tile that was specifically chosen to make the hotel seem modern and airy while retaining maximum luxury. Everything in the hotel practically screamed rich, yet it still seemed almost…nonchalant. It was a carefully crafted and created air.

"True, but now I can't see _who _is calling me!" Haruhi was actually throwing a mini-fit. She was sick of breaking her phones. Mei checked her watch, and did a double take. _Was it really 11 already?_

"Haruhi!" Mei said. "We've gotta go do the last fitting with my designs! I completely lost track of time." She then grabbed her bag, and Haruhi, and nearly dragged her to the suite the two girls shared.

* * *

Once they were in the room, Mei forced the first outfit onto Haruhi, an off-the-shoulder, long sleeved, jersey dress that came to Haruhi's knees and was dove gray. As Mei stood there with seven pins in her mouth and hemmed, Haruhi just soaked in the atmosphere.

Being the Peninsula, the suite was, of course, grand, luxuriously furnished, and the views were amazing. Haruhi just wanted to remember everything she could about the room – the plush carpeting under her feet, the delicate chandeliers casting a surreal glow over everything, and the view. The entire eastern wall was a window, so that they could see the sun rising over Tokyo every morning. Being on the 34th floor meant that they could see a truly breathtaking, panoramic view of the busy city. Of course, neither of them would have ever been here if it weren't for the conference.

Mei and Haruhi were at the Tokyo art conference. Held once a year, this conference was a very, very big deal. If you won in your area, you could be guaranteed a full-ride scholarship to the university of your choice. Of course, the competition was tremendously difficult to even get entered into, let alone gain a spot at. Attending was every young artist in Japan's dream. Every possible type of art had a category: from the traditional arts such as sketching, painting, and sculpture, to more modern art forms such as fashion and digital arts.

The reason they had given Haruhi's dad for being at the conference was that Mei had entered in fashion design and needed Haruhi to model her outfits. It was true that Mei had entered in fashion design and needed a model, but the real reason Haruhi came along was to enter a graphic design competition. Haruhi was something of a computer genius, but not the stereotypical kind of genius one would expect when the word genius is used in conjunction with the word computer. She was an artist, but her brush was a computer mouse and her blank canvas was little more than her worn and well loved Macbook.

Haruhi still hadn't told her father that she wanted to study art, not law. She had kept up this lie for so long that her senior year arrived, and her dad knew nothing of her aspirations. She just didn't want to break his heart.

Haruhi had a very stealthy plan concocted, however. The college her father had in mind – the very college her mother studied at, the campus where her mother and father met, fell in love, and were engaged at- had a top-notch art program, as well as a world-renowned law program. The day Haruhi got her acceptance letter and her schedule would be the big confession – she would admit that the schedule stated that she would be taking a full complement of intensive art classes, not the insanely difficult Intro to Law. Until then, Haruhi was taking 5 AP classes and Media III. On her transcript, in the little quarter-of-an-inch square that was supposed to say 'Media Arts III – Mrs. Hirogashi', it actually said 'Introduction to Sculpture and Ceramics'. Her father would never approve of any class that wouldn't further her career in law or look phenomenal on a college transcript. When her father asked her about the supposed Ceramic course, Haruhi simply told him that she needed one more art credit to graduate. Knowing that Ouran had very high academic standards (when it came to scholarship students, anyway), he believed her.

Mrs. Hirogashi, the vigorous thirty year-old who ran the Media program at Haruhi and Mei's high school, was convinced that Haruhi's work should be shown to everyone in Tokyo, instead of being submitted under a pen name to various small-scale art shows. The culmination of this conviction was that she got Haruhi to attend the Tokyo art conference. Mrs. Hirogashi finally threatened to print every piece of Haruhi's and hang them in Haruhi's living room while her dad was at work. And if that still didn't scare Haruhi enough, she threatened to pour maple syrup into the hard drive of Haruhi's precious Mac. Because Mrs. Hirogashi was their landlady's sister and for some reason always had maple syrup near her (she liked to drink it), the possibility of this happening was very real. Scared to death, Haruhi was forced to agree.

Once Mei finished the fitting, she disappeared into the bathroom for forty minutes and came back all-glammed up in a tight white blouse with a dark gray plaid skirt that came to the small of her waist over it, and the skirt was belted with a thick patent leather belt.

Having finished her look for the evening, Mei proceeded to give Haruhi a complete makeover. She tied Haruhi to a chair with some spare pantyhose and gave her a full face of makeup, blew her hair dry and curled it, and forced Haruhi into what she thought were _much_ better clothes than the ratty suit Haruhi had gotten secondhand – a knee-length black pencil skirt, tights, suede pumps (3 and ½ inches – Mei argued with Haruhi for ten minutes over them, before just forcing her into them), and to top it all off: a fuchsia blouse Mei had designed.

Dressed to the nines, both of them walked to the elevator. Well, Mei walked, and Haruhi tottered while grasping Mei's arm for dear life.

When they entered the grand ballroom where the preliminary fashion judging was going to happen shortly, Mei decided she just _had_ to have some sparkling punch. And the second she left Haruhi and took her supporting arm with her, Haruhi tried to find somewhere to sit down. Spotting a nice, safe looking chair, Haruhi began to stagger in that direction, when she slammed into some guy. Caught unawares and off-balance, the guy fell over and therefore took Haruhi with him. The project in his hands flew through the air, and hit the floor with a very ominous _CRAAACK_.

When they had picked themselves up and brushed off the project shards, Haruhi finally got a good look at who the guy was.

The only coherent thought she could form was '_You have _got_ to be kidding me'.

* * *

_

**A/N: This is my first fanfic! I was super scared to write this - because it's 100% beta free. Scary, huh?**

**I hope you guys send me some love in the reviews...I don't care what ever you write, but I can only improve and reviews help! Please! More reviews will motivate me to get chapter 2 up. I just really want to know what you all think of this! Love it, hate it, just tell me so I can fix it!**

**And if that isn't enough motivation, chapter 2 is chock full of Kyoya-y goodness. Thank you for taking the time to read this and even more so if you left me a review!**

**-Kiri**


	2. Chance Meeting

**A/N: Forgot to mention this last chapter, but Kyoya goes to Ouran too. They just haven't heard of/met/seen each other before. There is a much, much better explanation in this chapter – I just thought I should explain before someone gets confused.**

**Anything in italics is thought, capital lettering means somebody is yelling, and I'm reserving bold font for authors notes, because whenever I see bold in a story it drives me nuts and I have to read all of the bold font first. If this happens to me, maybe it will convince people to read my author notes! **

_Why does this always happen to me? Why not Mei?_ Haruhi wondered. _Why not anyone else in this freakin' conference room besides me?_

Unable to look him in the eyes, Haruhi knelt and started picking up the pieces of his project. While she tried to look nonchalant about the whole ordeal, Haruhi felt and looked anything but. Before she started talking, Haruhi risked a glance at the boy to see that, instead of shock or horror, he simply looked…amused?

"I'm so sorry about your project…" Haruhi faltered, unsure as to what she should call him.

"It's Kyoya." he supplied.

"And I'm Haruhi. Is there anything I can do to-" The guy completely cut her off mid-sentence.

"It's fine with me. It's not my project; it's _his._ That guy over there." He gestured to the guy he had death-glared at earlier. Having heard the huge clatter from the destruction of his project, the boy looked over. His face went from a look of happiness to downright shock in an instant. It really was comical how shocked he looked; that isn't to say Haruhi didn't feel awful about ruining his project, but…he looked like someone slapped him in the face with a fish. He came over to them and started yelling.

"WHO DID THIS? I AM GOING TO MAKE THEM…" his ranting suddenly died out. Haruhi couldn't figure out why, until she realized Kyoya's back was to him, and that when Kyoya turned around, the boy found out just who he was yelling at. And apparently, yelling at Kyoya was something that you just didn't do. The look on the poor boy's face was more than enough to convince her of this.

"You were saying?" Kyoya asked. His tone of voice was so icy, cold and ruthless, that Haruhi was surprised the boy didn't run away.

Instead, the kid just cowered where he stood.

"N-nothing. I don't blame you at all, sempai. I'll just clean this up." His voice shook slightly, and cracked when he said clean. Haruhi couldn't believe the reaction that just seeing Kyoya's face had incited. _Who is Kyoya and what on Earth did he do to scare that kid so thoroughly? _

"Stop cleaning that up," Kyoya said, "he's got it covered." He waited until Haruhi was back on her feet (or more accurately, balanced precariously on her heels), then asked "What category are you in?" His words were full of genuine curiosity.

"I'm in Innovational Design and my friend force-enlisted me to be her model for Fashion Design. I didn't want to, but it's a school requirement that you help out with whoever needs assistance. What about you?" While she was speaking, Haruhi took advantage of the moment to get a closer look at Kyoya. He was listening to what she was saying while simultaneously straightening his clothes, so he didn't see her looking.

He wasn't wearing anything loud, obnoxious, or even moderately interesting – black slacks, a white button down shirt, and a tie. It was all complied with the conference's required dress code – if you didn't follow it, you could get disqualified. Even for something as simple as mismatched socks.

It wasn't a complex outfit, but it screamed designer and ridiculously expensive. That tie probably cost more than everything in Haruhi's suitcase.

His hair was slightly mussed from the fall, but it looked great on him. _Probably anything would look good with a face like that._ His faced looked like it was carved by a sculptor; he had flawless porcelain skin that looked like something straight out of a magazine ad, lips that were neither full nor thin, but balanced in between the two, and surprisingly long eyelashes for a guy. The rest of his body had proportions like a model's - narrow waist, long legs , broad shoulders; his entire body was lean muscle. He was very tall in comparison to Haruhi, who was short even with the height from those god-awful heels. _He's probably six feet? Maybe a little taller…_ mused Haruhi; she had never been that great at guessing height.

_Snap out of it! _She closed her eyes for just a second, trying to pull herself together. The last thing she needed was to be caught staring at him! Feeling idiotic, Haruhi realized he was asking her something.

"Your school makes you help out too? That's the reason I was carrying that idiot's project – it was help or get kicked out of the conference. Where do you go?" Kyoya wasn't looking at her like she was deranged, thank Kami. He was still fixing his tie, and therefore hadn't noticed Haruhi's temporary lapse of sanity.

"Ouran. I'm there as a third-year scholarship student." Haruhi admitted. She always hated telling people she went to Ouran; the looks on their faces when they heard the school's name always made her very uncomfortable. The assumption commonly made was that Haruhi was snotty and stuck-up if she attended Ouran, even if she only went as a scholarship student. Quite frankly, it was the opposite. It was very humbling (and sometimes extremely annoying) to go there.

"How come I've never seen you there? It's my school too, and I'm in your year. Strange." His voice didn't betray any emotion, but he looked puzzled. Haruhi knew exactly what he was trying to figure out.

She never saw him at school because she was always extremely busy. Whenever she wasn't in class, she was in the library, poring over musty tomes and doing her homework. And before school, in the halls, between classes, she always had her head in a book. Studying or reading just because she wanted to, Haruhi never had time for socializing.

"I'm always really busy at school, between homework and studying and everything else. And I have to pay pretty close attention in my classes, or I'll fall behind." Haruhi noticed that she was babbling and just shut up. Then another question hit.

"What's your schedule?" she inquired. And as he outlined his day, Haruhi proceeded to be shocked at how oblivious she was during school. She and Kyoya had five classes (all AP) together.

_How could I be this ignorant?_ Haruhi actually knew the answer to this. She zeroed in on whatever the teacher was lecturing about and didn't care less about what the rest of the class did, let alone what they looked like or who they were. Getting kicked out of the school if she didn't stay in the top two of her class' grades was a pretty decent motivation.

"Ohtori! Can you give us a hand over here? You can hit on her later!" The source of this voice was a red-headed guy who didn't seem intimidated by Kyoya in the least. Kyoya nodded to acknowledge him, then glared as he realized what the boy had said after asking for help. The kid just laughed and went to grab another box of film equipment. Weird. The death glare didn't work on him.

"Are you going to the mixer tonight?" Kyoya asked her. It was a required event for everyone in the conference, but Haruhi being Haruhi, she was going to feign illness and get some sleep. She winced, and was about to tell him no way in hell would she go when she hadn't slept in-what was it now? 36 hours? (she had stayed up all night putting the finishing touches on her project) - but Mei chose this exact moment to saunter over with her punch, and she flashed a grin at Kyoya before condemning Haruhi.

"Of course she is! Like Haruhi would skip it!" Mei cheerfully stated. She was going to pay for this. Soon.

"Ohtori! I'm not kidding!" It was the same guy as before, and now he looked downright angry. "Hurry up!"

Suddenly the guy was in two places. Yelling at Kyoya while lifting a huge box with other guys, and nearly dragging Kyoya towards the rest of the guys. Haruhi did a double take. _What?_ Was she seeing things?

_Oh._ They were twins. _It's probably the lack of sleep._

"Stop mooning over him, Haruhi, and get over here! I've got to figure out what you're going to wear tonight!" Seeing that Haruhi wasn't moving, Mei slung an arm over Haruhi's shoulders and started walking. "Sooo, tell me everything. When did you figure out Kyoya's here? What were you guys talking about?" Mei was so dead.

**A/N: Thank you for sticking with me for another chapter! I'll have the next one up as soon as humanly possible – I've got so much stuff on my plate it's spilling over. That was supposed to be funny.**

**ANYWAY, please leave me reviews! Nothing is better than getting a review, and I might decide to be awful and not post chapter 3 until I've got five reviews. Just five, people! Please! I already have 3 written, and all I need now are some reviews on how I'm doing here! Thanks for reading, and if you review, I love you forever. **

**-Kiri**


	3. Plotting

**A/N: I'm done holding this chapter hostage! **

**Thank you for all of the reviews – they make me so happy, and it's good to know you guys are enjoying this!**

"Sooo, tell me everything. When did you figure out Kyoya's here? When did you figure out he existed? What were you guys talking about?" Mei chirped. Haruhi couldn't believe this. How did she know who Kyoya was when Haruhi hadn't even mentioned his name to her? They stepped out of the elevator (which was, like everything else in the hotel, upscale) and onto their floor.

"How did you know who he was? I didn't even know what his name was or that he went to Ouran until I talked to him." Mei just shook her head. Typical Haruhi. Oblivious to the end.

"He's in our grade, Haruhi!" Mei said, knowing that Haruhi barely knew anyone besides her and the teachers. "Not only that, but he's one of the hottest guys at Ouran– ask anyone in the school! Now, why is Kyoya here? And why on Earth is he being so nice to you? He was acting like a civil human being for once, instead of..." Mei trailed off as she checked to make sure nobody else was near them in the lavish hallway; seeing that nobody was, she continued, "like the son of Satan. Any girl who dares to speak in his almighty presence is smoted by his death glare." Mei was practically bursting at the seams with questions. If Haruhi didn't answer promptly, she might explode. The Satan connection _was_ pretty well-matched with the death glare, though.

"He's here for the same reason as us, Mei. Who isn't here for the conference? As for him being nice to me, well, I don't have a clue. Maybe he pities the sleep-deprived," she deadpanned. "I do look pretty exhausted. Add these shoes to the mix, and I look like I'm dying." Haruhi actually looked fine. Her dark circles were nearly non-existent thanks to the miraculous makeup application by Mei, and the way she wobbled on her heels was much funnier than it was pathetic.

They finally reached the room, and Mei rummaged through her purse for the key.

"Where is it? I could've sworn – oh. Here it is!" She pulled it out of one of the voluminous purse's many pockets, which Haruhi swore carried more things than the contents of her suitcase, unlocked the door, and they entered the room.

The first thing Mei did was run to the closet and grab three ominous white garment bags. She then unceremoniously shoved them in Haruhi's face and told her to try them on, but to not, under the threat of death, look in the mirror. Haruhi assumed that Mei was nervous about the show tomorrow and wanted to make sure that everything fit, so she obediently went into the marble bathroom and changed into the first dress. When she came out and tried to reassure Mei that her designs were fantastic and the judges would love them, she didn't get a chance to say a word. What Mei said as she walked out completely distracted her.

"The fit's good, hem's the right length…I love it! Haruhi, you need to wear this one tonight!"

"Mei, what?"

"Didn't I tell you? You're wearing one of my designs to the mixer tonight. That way everyone will get a little taste of my work," Mei said, "and it'll totally help my chances tomorrow. Please?" Mei was lying through her teeth. She just wanted Haruhi to look amazing, because she thought Haruhi needed a little magic. Haruhi had never had a boyfriend, claiming that she was too busy to do anything other than study. Whenever Mei said she needed to live a little, Haruhi would simply reply that 'I can do that once I've got a job.' WHAT? It's her senior year, for crying out loud!

And because Kyoya seemed interested in her, the opportunity couldn't be more perfect. But, Haruhi would call this line of thinking ridiculous and pointless, so Mei appealed to Haruhi's kind nature. She would do anything to help Mei out; and it was this characteristic that caused her to fall into Mei's trap.

"Fine. I'll wear it." Mei snickered to herself. Haruhi could be so gullible. Then she remembered something else she had to do.

"Now I've got to do your makeup! I can't have my walking advertisement looking bedraggled!" Mei shepherded Haruhi to the heavily embroidered stool in front of the vanity, and the moment she was seated, began attacking Haruhi's face in a flurry of foundation and mascara.

Haruhi was, of course, completely unaware that Mei's intentions weren't to do as well as possible at the show tomorrow. She completely submitted to what Mei was doing, because she knew how hard Mei had worked and all of the thought she put into her clothes. Speaking of clothes, she actually thought this dress wasn't half bad; the fabric was neither silk nor linen, but a lustrous material that fell somewhere between the two. It looked and felt just like something that…rich people would wear.

"Mei?" inquired Haruhi.

"Huh?" was all that Mei could say; she was focusing on lightly dusting Haruhi's cheeks with rich pink blush.

"How did you afford this material? It's not the kind of stuff they sell at the fabric store, and…well, I don't know how else you would have gotten it. Unless you – no, you wouldn't. Wouldn't you?" Haruhi didn't feel bad about asking Mei this. They both were pretty nearly dirt poor, so unless Mei stole the fabric, Haruhi couldn't see how she got a hold of it.

Mei found this question hilarious – she had been waiting for Haruhi to notice that the clothes weren't made of cheap cotton and dollar-a-yard material.

"I didn't steal it from a store…more like the third-floor storage room?" Haruhi gasped.

"Mei! You didn't!" Haruhi took a look at Mei's serious face, and revised her statement. "You couldn't have! The security there is crazy." It really was. Haruhi's mind went into overdrive, trying to figure out how Mei overcame all of the obstacles. Security guards, the latest and greatest surveillance equipment…robbing Ouran was like pulling a heist at Fort Knox. Something that only the absolutely crazy would attempt.

"Before you start wondering, I didn't go all 'Mission Impossible' and sneak in during the middle of the night – I just told Ms. Hirogashi that I needed some cotton for a lining, and walked out with a lot more than a yard of cotton. Lucky thing that my purse is so big. If it was any smaller that dress you're wearing wouldn't have been possible. Now, stop talking and close your eyes. I've got to do your liner."

_So that explains the fabric,_ Haruhi thought. _And I really do like the color of the dress._ Mei couldn't have picked anything more perfectly suited to her – the emerald green added color to her skin and by contrast, made her chestnut hair glow. Haruhi hadn't seen the dress in the mirror yet, so all she knew was that she liked the color. Green was her favorite, after all.

"Finished!" Mei covered Haruhi's eyes and led her to the mirror. Once there, she pulled her hands away and admired her work.

"What do you think?" Mei asked; she sounded extremely smug and satisfied.

"Mei...aren't I a little overdressed?" she inquired. The dress was unlike anything Haruhi had ever seen before – it was one-shouldered and cinched low on her waist with a skinny black patent leather belt; from there it fell to her knees in a flowing cascade of emerald. The smuggled material was the perfect weight; it didn't cling, but it didn't fit like potato sack, either. Mei would call it 'an updated version of the goddess gown'; Haruhi thought it looked almost ethereal, as if it and her face belonged in some alternate dimension where she was perfect.

The makeup and fancy hair made all the difference in the world. Haruhi was pretty to begin with, but Mei had made the change from 'pretty' to 'drop-dead supermodel gorgeous'. The blowout had made her chin-length hair glisten in the delicate glow cast from the elaborate chandeliers. The last time Haruhi had gotten her hair cut, the stylist had given her full bangs without asking her. Haruhi was annoyed, but then again, she had only paid 639 yen for the cut, so what was she going to do? She just kept the securely pulled back with barrettes and pretended they didn't exist. Mei had taken her bangs and actually styled them. The difference was clear-cut, and Haruhi, for the first time in what seemed like ages, felt beautiful.

"Mei…thank you." Mei knew that for once Haruhi was being sincere about the makeover, as opposed to her usual attempts, when Haruhi would merely reply 'It looks fine' or 'Nice job'. Of course, Mei had never done anything this drastic to her before.

Mei shot a glance at the clock. _Shoot. Kaoru said seven. They'll already be down there. We should probably go._

"And guess what? Now you look stunning, you have somewhere to go, a hot guy to impress-"

Mei had crossed the invisible line. Haruhi's head snapped over, and she glared at Mei. In return, Mei just smirked and handed her some emerald studs to match the dress.

"You do know that we've got to leave know, don't you? Don't want to be late." Mei grinned evilly and opened the door. Haruhi stalked by her without sparing Mei a glance.

On their way down the hall, Haruhi saw those red-headed twins walking towards them. She didn't think anything of it.

Mei kept walking suavely. When they got closer, one of them winked his left eye twice. It meant _He's down there._ Mei was walking slightly behind Haruhi, so Haruhi didn't notice when Mei jerked her thumb at Haruhi and flashed them a peace sign. That translated to _Heading down now,_ and then _she's amiable to the idea. _Finally, she shook her hair. _Let's do this._

Haruhi had no idea Mei was so devious, and was absolutely clueless about the carefully constructed trap in the lobby she was going to walk into.

**A/N: If you are reading this, glad you liked this enough to read the whole thing.**

**I know there wasn't any Kyoya in this chapter (I wanted him in here too), but don't worry. The rest of the story will be saturated with his awesomeness. I just can't write a short story, and I felt I needed to lay out Mei and the twin's deviousness.**

**I'm leaving for a two-day tournament tomorrow, and I really don't know if I'll be able to update while I'm gone. I'll bring my laptop, but I don't know if a) I'll have internet access and b) if I will be awake enough to write anything other than craziness. ANYWAY, I'll have four up by Saturday.**

**Please leave reviews! They are like coffees to me – the more you give me, the hyper-er I get and therefore the more I get done. (That's my fantastic study technique – I procrastinate until I barely have enough time left, and then consume enough caffeine for four of me). Thank you to all of the extremely thoughtful reviewers out there! You guys literally made my day.**

**I just realized this A/N is proportionately as long as this story is gonna be. Which translates to, it's waaaay too long. Oh well.**

**THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!**

**-Kiri**


	4. Deviousness

A/N: I do not own Ouran or any of its characters. Sadly.

**I also take no claim to the iPhone; all the credit for that little masterpiece goes to Apple.**

Mei looked unruffled, but she was mentally running through her checklist. If she forgot anything, the plan would probably fall apart at a miraculous speed. If it worked, Mei and the Hitachiins would have finally set up their infamously single friends. If it failed miserably, they would probably have to leave the country.

* * *

Haruhi was prepared for the worst, walking into the colossal room. She hated parties, and that was what she expected. Either a party or a dance of some sort, with dim lights and extraordinarily loud music. Mei and the Hitachiins had anticipated an atmosphere similar to that of a nightclub – a chaotic atmosphere where they could carry out their mission without getting caught. Of course, what they pictured was not even close to feasible, let alone near the real situation. Nobody was prepared for the scene behind the ornately carved doors.

What appeared to be the world's largest awkward office party was happening. There was some light classical music playing in the background, and nobody was dancing. Instead, little knots of people were huddled near the edges of the room and around the conveniently placed water coolers. The burble of conversation was quiet – apparently nobody wanted to talk at a decibel level louder than 'indoor volume'. Everybody was wearing pretty much the same clothing as earlier – pinstripes and slacks were everywhere, grays and black abounded, and the brightest color anyone was wearing was a pastel blue so light it was practically white.

Haruhi couldn't have stood out more if she'd tried. Between the color of her dress and the fact that it was waaay too upscale for the party, she stuck out. While this would be a very nice asset in getting Kyoya to notice Haruhi, it also attracted plenty of glances from jealous girls. And if some girl tried to mess this up because she wished she looked like Haruhi, Mei would probably kill her.

Mei was frantic. Something had already gone wrong and she couldn't see Kyoya. _Where is he?!?!_ Add that to the fact that Kaoru and Hikaru were nowhere to be found, and she was about to call the plan off if something didn't go right. She didn't actually find him, however. Haruhi did.

Once Haruhi was able to register any thoughts other than _Holy cow, everybody is staring at me_, she saw Kyoya. Unlike the majority, he had changed from his stiff professional attire into something a little more casual. And Haruhi couldn't stop staring.

He was wearing a black silk shirt over another silk shirt, this one in the same shade of emerald green as Haruhi's dress. Slim, nondescript black pants completed the outfit. His hair was freshly washed, and Haruhi had never seen anybody look nearly as attractive as him before.

"Do you want to – oh!" Mei was going to ask Haruhi if she wanted to ditch, but then she noticed the direction of Haruhi's gaze, and took her comment in another direction. "I need to ask the twins about tomorrow. It won't take very long, I promise."

"Sure." was the only reply Haruhi could come up with. When they got closer, Haruhi saw that Kyoya looked extremely annoyed, and his anger appeared to be directed at the twins.

"Why did you think that this would be appropriate clothing? I look ridiculous, and you both are dressed the same as everyone else."

"Technically, we are dressed like you, Kyoya. The colors are just different." Hikaru stated, completely unconcerned with Kyoya's anger. And what he said was true, after all. They were wearing silk shirts too – the fabric didn't have the sheen that Kyoya's did - and while he had that vibrant green sticking out of his shirt, the twins were wearing muted shades of gray. Kyoya knew that he'd been duped, but what could he do?

_That explains why they were in the upstairs hall. They'd gone to change out of the outfits they'd planned, and didn't tell me to change._ She was going to get them for this, later. As for right now, improvisation to their scheme was desperately needed.

"Hey, Mei. Is this the Haruhi you've told us about?" Kaoru asked. Or maybe it was Hikaru. Haruhi couldn't keep them straight. She probably could have on a normal day, but she was exhausted. And little did she know that her day was far from over.

"Yup! Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. Hikaru and Kaoru, Haruhi Fujioka." Instead of shaking Haruhi's proffered hand, they walked over and slung their arms around her shoulders.

"Nice to meet you, Haruhi." This was the first step – make sure Haruhi was utterly uncomfortable around the twins. If she didn't want to be near them, and Mei hung around them the entire night, then she would talk to Kyoya. According to the combined logic of Mei and the twins, anyway.

"Love the dress. Gorgeous color. Mei, is this your work I see here?" the other inquired. "Because if it is, you've truly outdone yourself."

"It's an original. Hikaru, Kaoru, if you guys can pull yourselves away from Haruhi for a sec, I need to ask you a couple of things about tomorrow." She then addressed Haruhi and Kyoya, "I'm helping out with their movie. If you'll excuse us?" Mei and the twins stepped a couple of feet away and began speaking animatedly.

And then there were two.

"You know, I never got the chance to ask – what categories are you entered in?" Haruhi actually did want to know this – she had never really believed in 'small talk'. It was pointless; why chatter incessantly about nothing when you could just get to the point?

"I'm not officially entered in any event. I lost a bet with Hikaru and Kaoru a couple of months ago and they are making me star in their atrocious film. It was that or….never mind. Needless to say, starring in this monstrosity and lugging all of their film equipment is the lesser of two evils." Kyoya spoke about his duties with contempt, which was off – it wasn't that bad, after all. _There's probably something more, though. The twins seem too devious to do something that simple._

"What is this 'atrocious film' about? And is it for on demand or just film?" On-demand films had to be made on-site (at the conference) and had to be completed in under thirty six hours. Regular film meant that it could be finished before one set foot in the hotel. Typically, the on-demand films were hastily thrown together and the kids creating the movies didn't sleep during the day and a half time allotted. Some of the stuff they accidentally left in could be pretty funny; three years back one poor team mistakenly put an awkward conversation in as the sound overlay instead of the music they had intended. Four of the girls on the team had held a tell-all about their love lives. While the kids couldn't bear to watch it, everybody else found it funny. It had gone viral in under three hours.

"It's an on-demand. And seeing as this year's theme is Japanese history, they are making, in their words, 'an epic samurai action-thriller'. How they are going to pull this off in the Peninsula and in less than thirty six hours, I have no clue." Haruhi couldn't help it – she started laughing. She knew it was rude, but really? Stoic Kyoya as a samurai?

"S-sorry," she managed to say choke out, "but I really can't picture it."

"Neither can I, really." Kyoya snickered. Haruhi took a deep breath to calm herself down, and when she looked up at him, he was smiled at her. When he smiled, his face lit up and he looked completely different.

"You really should smile more, Kyoya." Haruhi couldn't believe she had said that, but what could she do now? For once, her prayers were answered. Mei and the twins came back not a moment too soon.

"Now that we've got that all sorted out, what should we do? This is quieter than some funerals I've been to." Haruhi was pretty sure that was Hikaru talking – he seemed like the more abrupt of the two.

"Let's ditch. We'll find somewhere to go once this atmosphere of despair and cheap shoes isn't repressing my brain functions any longer." The twins were being so frank, but it was true.

Haruhi wasn't averse to the idea – she hated the stares. The vibrant green of her dress was flickering at the edge of people's eyes; they'd turn to look and often would gape open-mouthed at her for 10-15 seconds before reluctantly returning to their dull conversations. Being stuck at the mixer (which, it turns out, wasn't supposed to be like this. It was intended to be fun and lively, but no one wanted to dance. Hence the office atmosphere) was the last thing she wanted. Especially for another 3 hours. Ick. Kyoya was more astute than Haruhi, however, and had some suspicions.

"Where are we goi-" The twins wouldn't let him finish.

"Yes or no, Kyoya. Just give us a yes or no. No questions; just answer." They definitely were used to dealing with Kyoya. It was pretty funny to see them shut him up. He seemed like the kind of guy who wouldn't put up with them, but apparently he contained multitudes.

"Fine. I'll agree to this. We need to hurry, however. And it's not my fault if you guys get us all kicked out." Kyoya was right – leaving the hotel was tantamount to begging for disqualification. Really, leaving was just asking for it.

"Mei, if we get caught…"

"Relax, Haruhi. Between Hikaru, Kaoru, and I, nobody will know we've left. Now come on!" Haruhi, seeing that she had no choice, participated in the plotting session that was commencing.

"If we leave together out that side door, Mei can use the service entrance. It will probably be empty this time of night."

"Then Haruhi and Kyoya can slip through the back fire exit after we disable the alarm. It looks pretty simplistic, so we could be out of here in as little as five minutes."

"Golden. Now, excuses." The exchange between Mei and the twins was rapid-fire and Haruhi couldn't say a thing. She looked at Kyoya for help in escaping whatever Mei and the twins were concocting; he merely raised an eyebrow. She glared at him, and he just smirked. _Helpful._

"We can say Hikaru's having an allergic reaction and I'm helping him get to the doctor." Kaoru said.

"Someone could have stolen Haruhi's purse and Kyoya's helping her nab the thief." Mei interjected.

"Perfect! As for you, Mei, how about your cat died?" Hikaru suggested gleefully.

"…and you need to help your mother cope?" Kaoru added.

"Weird, but I'll take it. I'm sick of the tampon run excuse. It's getting old." _So they've done this before? _

"Okay, everyone got it? We'll meet up at Seventh and East in twenty minutes. If you get lost, look for the giant ad of a lingerie model. The intersection's right below it." Of course, the twins picked a board with a model on it. _They are such perverts._ _Then again, they're guys._

"We should exchange numbers in case someone gets lost. I doubt anyone will, but just in case. Haruhi, give me your phone. Mei, switch with Kyoya, and when he's finished with your phone, hand it to me."

Phones were exchanged and numbers were inputted. Two red keyboard phones changed hands with a bejeweled flip phone, an immaculate iPhone, and Haruhi's cracked phone.

"See you on the other side!" And with her clichéd parting words, Mei walked away and melted seamlessly into the crowd of gray.

"Now remember – if our fix doesn't work, you'll have some serious problems. Once you open the door, the alarm will be triggered and in ten seconds the alarm will ring. If this happens, run like hell and pray nobody follows you. Got it?" Hikaru left without waiting for a reply. Haruhi and Kyoya watched as the twins sauntered towards the fire exit, disappeared behind a large plastic plant for no longer than thirty seconds, and then reappeared with smug grins. Hikaru nodded at them, and then they were gone.

"All set?" Haruhi asked; when Kyoya didn't respond, she looked up at him, and his face was calculating. He was obviously deep in thought. She stood on her toes and waved her hand in his face to get his attention. "Kyoya? You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just thinking. Want to leave?"

"Yeah. The sooner we get back, the better I'll feel." Haruhi couldn't figure out how she got roped into this insanity, and just wanted it to be over so that she could get some much-needed sleep. They started walking to the fire exit.

"Nervous about getting caught?"Kyoya asked. "Don't worry about it. Even if we do get caught, we have the Hitachiin's foolproof excuse that anybody in their right mind will certainly believe." Haruhi started to reply, then yawned.

"Bored with me already?" He sounded amused.

"No. I haven't slept since Thursday night, and now it's Saturday."

"And you haven't slept because…?"

"I've been putting the finishing touches on my project. Whoa."

They had finally reached the fire exit. Luckily, the plastic fichus concealed both the exit and them.

They took in the glorious destruction of the fire alarm console. Instead of simply snipping the wire, Hikaru and Kaoru thought it would be funny to melt the outer shell of the box with a cigarette lighter. How they did this was something even Kyoya would never figure out. Once they had cracked open the outside, they had pulled every wire in the box out and tangled them hopelessly. Naturally, the only wire they needed to cut wasn't even in the box. It was the A/V cable that led to the siren and also to the security cameras. Unlike the messily deconstructed box, this cord was neatly snipped.

They both reached for the door handle simultaneously. Haruhi flinched, but Kyoya kept his hand on top of hers.

"On three. One," Haruhi took a deep breath. If the Hitachiins had screwed this up, then they would be in so much trouble it was ridiculous. "Two…three!" They rushed out of the door, slammed it, then got ready to run. They waited as the determining ten seconds passed.

"Guess the Hitachiins came through." Kyoya commented. Haruhi just let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

They were in the alley between the hotel and the office building adjacent to it. While the alley was repulsive, covered in garbage, etc., the sunset was breathtaking. The entire sky was deep orange with streaks of red and gold.

The color was striking against the Tokyo skyline, as the glass of skyscraper windows reflected the color, setting the city aglow temporarily. When Haruhi looked at this, she saw something beautiful. Kyoya saw the businesses he would run someday.

"Hey Kyoya. We should probably get going. If I stay here any longer, I'm going to fall asleep." Haruhi felt…weird, standing so close to Kyoya in the dark. _It's just the sleep deprivation. I'm so worn out that I can barely stand. _

"I meant to give you this earlier, but I got distracted by the fire alarm." He tossed Haruhi a little red bottle. "They're absolutely awful tasting, but it helps." The label proclaimed _'EIGHT HOUR ENERGY' _in large lettering. In a smaller font, it said to '_DRINK SPARINGLY'._

"Thank you, Kyoya." Haruhi unscrewed the cap and choked down the contents. He was right; it tasted like chalk shot through with straight caffeine. Now that she thought about it, that was probably what it was made of.

"No problem. It'll start working in ten minutes or so. Let's go." Haruhi started walking and promptly tripped on some garbage.

"Careful." Kyoya caught her arm. "Don't want to twist your ankle."

"I probably will. These heels are a death trap." Holding onto Kyoya's arm, Haruhi maneuvered around the junk lying in the alley. Once they were in the bright lights of the street, she dropped his arm and they both proceeded to straighten their rumpled clothes. People walking by saw them and grinned. Haruhi realized what it looked like they had been doing in the alley, and blushed.

"We're already on East avenue, and seventh should be about a block from here." Kyoya either didn't have a clue what people were thinking, or didn't care.

"Okay. Lead the way, Kyoya." Haruhi saluted him. As they strolled down the sidewalk, Haruhi began to see that, while every space possible was covered in advertisements, none of them were similar to the one the twins described.

When they got to the intersection, Haruhi wanted to kill Mei. Seventh street was nowhere in sight and more likely than not didn't exist.

"Kyoya…"

"Haruhi…" They had both tried to speak at the same time, presumably to tell each other the same thing.

"We're doomed, aren't we?" Haruhi didn't see any point in sugarcoating the matter at hand.

"Pretty much. I don't have my wallet, and I doubt the twins actually put their number in my phone. Is your phone working?" He sounded annoyed, but luckily, Haruhi thought, his anger wasn't directed at her. That was something she never wanted to be on the receiving end of. She pulled her phone out of her bag and tried to call Mei. And then Haruhi discovered that she couldn't make any calls, because her phone had a touch screen only, no keyboard, and the cracks obscured the number pad. Fantastic.

"Nope. It's broken to the extent that I can't make calls. What about the hotel door?" Kyoya went back to check, and found that it had locked behind them. So that was out.

"So, we've been given false directions, we have no phones, no money, and we can't get back into the hotel unless we walk through the front door and practically beg to be disqualified. Now what?" Kyoya pondered, then answered with a proposition.

"How about we get some dinner?"

"How are we going to get food with no money?" Haruhi figured that he must have gone crazy.

"You'll see." Kyoya was realizing that tonight was going to be much more enjoyable than he'd originally thought.

**A/N: I figured I'd make up for the late post by making this chapter longer than usual. What do you guys think? Like this length better than 1,000 word chapters? I think the next couple chapters are going to be this long – the length made writing this chapter easier.**


	5. Hitting the City

Apparently you can get dinner for two for free if and only if you are an Ohtori. Haruhi had figured they would just eat at the nearest diner. Instead, they were eating at a stunning restaurant on the 42nd floor of one of Tokyo's many glittering skyscrapers. The sun had just set, but the sky wasn't completely dark yet. The billion lights from everywhere in the city glittered; it was never truly night in Tokyo due to the lights.

The restaurant's interior was illuminated by small but intricate chandeliers that hung over each table; the effect of this was of a much cozier atmosphere than if general lighting was provided. The tables were, naturally, set with insanely expensive china. Floral arrangements were spaced perfectly; if any more were added it would be overdone, if there were any less, it would look cheap. The chairs were a wine red fabric that exuded elegance, and the tablecloth was the pristine white only seen in newly fallen snow and clouds.

She couldn't believe they had been allowed in there, let alone given a table.

When they walked in, Kyoya claimed they had a reservation at eight, under 'Ohtori'. The woman had been prepared to turn them down, seeing as every reservation at eight had been filled, until the magic word crossed Kyoya's lips. All the blood drained out of her face, and she had stammered "Y-yes. Right this way, Mr. Ohtori." They were then led to an elegantly set table by the floor to ceiling windows. _What scared her so badly? _Haruhi wanted answers. As they sat down and began perusing the menu, Haruhi started the Fujioka Inquisition. She couldn't understand a word of the menu, as she didn't have a clue what most of the dishes were, so she might as well grill Kyoya.

"Kyoya?"

"Yes?" he asked, not looking up from what was possibly the most elaborate and expensive menu on the face of Earth.

"Why does the name Ohtori strike fear into the hearts of everybody? Why are you so notorious?" Haruhi couldn't decide if his family had mafia connections or were perhaps secretly in control of Japan.

"It's not me; my family runs many hospitals throughout the country. My father is CEO of Ohtori Medical Group. People find me so terrifying because I might someday take over the company, and the last thing they want to do is insult a leader in such a vital business." It sounded like Kyoya had explained this many times. His tone had darkened slightly while discussing his chances, and Haruhi guessed it was a delicate subject. Being Haruhi, she of course flat-out asked him about it. Death to subtlety.

"What are the chances that you'll inherit the company? Do you have other siblings with better chances?"

"Two elder brothers and an older sister. Fuyumi is engaged, though, and Father never intended for her to inherit. As for my brothers, Masahiro is most likely to take over. He's the oldest and more responsible than Akiro." His voice was devoid of any warmth.

"So you're the third son…but you still intend to fight for control of the company once your father steps down." Haruhi had guessed exactly what Kyoya's predicament was.

"Right. It's a lot, the need to surpass my brothers in everything to be noticed. Then again, I expect

"Are you ready to order?" The waiter interrupted. "Do you want to know the specials? Tonight it's-" Kyoya cut him off, seeing that if he didn't the boy would proceed to wax eloquently about food.

"I'll have Kaiseki Ryori. Haruhi?" She looked up from the menu and mouthed "_Help."_ It was funny how just sitting in a restaurant, looking at a menu full of foreign foods, could overwhelm Haruhi completely, when she was perfectly fine juggling six AP classes and a father who worked at a gay bar.

"Actually, we'll need a few more minutes." The overly enthusiastic waiter bobbed his head.

"No problem! Call me over when the lady has decided!" The waiter had a rather unusual appearance for a Japanese man. Blond hair, violet eyes…he looked more French than anything else. His name badge read _Tamaki Suoh_, which was strange. He looked French, but had a Japanese name.

"Kyoya, I don't know what any of this is." Haruhi looked adorable when confused, Kyoya noted.

"It's fine. Now, what's something you've always wanted to eat?" Haruhi didn't even have to think about that one.

"Giant tuna."

"Perfect." Kyoya waved over the annoying man from earlier and relayed their orders.

"She'll have an order of otooro." Kyoya was hoping the man wouldn't comment. Nice try.

"Excellent choice, princess! It'll be ready shortly." He practically skipped away from their table. As soon as he was out of hearing distance, Haruhi started laughing.

"What is his problem? Princess?" she managed to say.

"I'm not sure, princess." Kyoya deadpanned. Haruhi shot him a glare. _Looks like I'm rubbing off on her. Not that I mind._

The rest of dinner passed by in a blur for Haruhi. The food was unlike anything she had ever tasted; Haruhi asked for and received the recipe for the sauce the tuna marinated in (they wouldn't have given it to her, but with one look from Kyoya, Tamaki went running for it). Everything went perfectly. She and Kyoya never ran out of things to speak about. He was on the same intellectual level as her, as opposed to nearly every other male at their age. It was amazing to speak with someone who had the same dilemmas as her – familial expectations that he relished in the challenge of meeting, while all she wanted was to be free of them, the class load they were both enduring, and their trying friends. Haruhi had never met someone who she was so evenly matched with, and loved being able to speak so freely with him. She guessed that she was seeing a side of Kyoya that was rarely shown; obviously his family wasn't close, and she doubted he would act like this around the twins or his classmates.

It had been a dinner unlike any other, and Haruhi wished that it would never end. By the time the remains of several decadent desserts littered the table, stars glimmered in the sky. And then Kyoya's phone buzzed.

"Hello?" Kyoya said. A voice murmured in reply.

"You are going to pay for this, Hikaru, Kaoru. The world is a small place to hide in." Kyoya's voice practically dripped icicles. A muffled yell exploded from the phone, some shuffling noises, and then someone (probably Kaoru) spoke for several seconds.

"One moment." Kyoya covered the phone with his hand and addressed Haruhi. "Mei nearly killed one of the twins to get to the phone, and she wants to talk to you." He held the phone out in an invitation to take it.

"Put it on speaker." Haruhi suggested. That way Kyoya could hear about whatever Mei wanted firsthand. He altered the sound setting, and then placed his phone between them on the table so they could both hear.

"Hey Mei." Haruhi's tone was neutral. She was pissed at Mei and company for ditching them, but that had turned out pretty well.

"Haruhi – we have a bit of a problem. We aren't going to be able to get back into the hotel until it opens tomorrow morning." While the conference was occurring, the hotel kept its doors open until nine at night. It was then closed to incoming guests until seven in the morning. This was to prevent a) weirdos off of the street sneaking in and kidnapping competitors and b) to prevent the competitors from sneaking out.

"And we have nowhere to sleep." Kyoya was now contemplating murder. The allotted time for them to make the twin's on-demand movie started promptly at eight a.m., and they would need every minute of the time given to finish it. Therefore they would definitely be up all night tomorrow editing the footage. If he didn't sleep tonight, he was going to be demonic. To say the least, Kyoya wasn't a morning person.

Haruhi had figured the hastily concocted escape plan would have deficits. Unfortunately, she had no idea where they could find a place to sleep that wasn't, _literally_, on a sidewalk.

"I have no clue, Mei. Let me put you on speaker first," she paused for a second while she and Kyoya did nothing, "and now we can figure this out. Wait. Put your phone on speaker too. Now the twins can help." After a few seconds of rustling noises, Mei spoke again.

"All set."

"Now," Haruhi said, "do you guys have any money on you? Any at all? Or are we completely broke?"

"Nothing. Wait a sec – I have two dollars." Mei interrupted the twins. "That isn't going to help us. And I don't have any money. Let me guess. You guys don't have any cash either." Haruhi suddenly remembered something vital; she covered the phone with a napkin so that they wouldn't be overheard.

"Kyoya! How are we going to pay for this?" Haruhi whispered.

"It's fine. We need to deal with this first." He sounded so nonchalant! They had probably just eaten several hundred dollars worth of food, and had no money. Haruhi ignored this for the time being, and removed the napkin.

"Nope. Anybody's family own any hotels?" Haruhi was kidding, but the twins actually took her question seriously.

"Uh-uh. Fashion lines." Kyoya had an idea.

"We could sleep in an office at one of the hospitals. There won't be a bed, but there will be at least two offices open. The nearest one is about five blocks away from here. It will be uncomfortable, but it will suffice." Kyoya didn't sound too excited about the venture; what if his father heard? Then again, he could threaten the hospital staff so that word of this wouldn't reach his father.

"What's the address? We'll meet you there." Hikaru asked. Kyoya rattled off the address.

"When you get there, ask for Dr. Takashi. Whatever you do, don't follow Dr. Mitsukuni. You'll end up eating cake, mark my words." Kyoya instructed. At Haruhi's questioning look, Kyoya mouthed "_Tell you later" _to her. She nodded.

"Got it. Takashi, not Mitsukuni. Meet you there." Kaoru said. He hung up.

"Cake?" Haruhi asked.

"Yes. He can probably eat more cake than someone three times his size. It's a weird habit, but he's a phenomenal doctor." Kyoya spotted Tamaki picking up the bill to bring to their table. He took preventative action.

"Haruhi, we need to go before the 'prince' comes back. Meet me outside." Kyoya instructed. Haruhi did as he said; she just walked out the front door casually. Kyoya snatched a pen from the back pocket of a nearby waiter; the guy never noticed. He neatly but hastily wrote a note on the napkin, then proceeded to basically flee the restaurant.

Tamaki walked over and placed the bill on the unoccupied table. This was a common occurrence; often patrons were rich enough to leave plenty of cash for the bill and tips. When he attempted to retrieve the money, however, all he found was a napkin with a neatly lettered message scrawled on it. It read:

_Please forward the bill to this address. If you overcharge, I will not hesitate to take legal action._

Below this a Tokyo address was listed. Tamaki had never seen anything like this. He didn't really care, however.

"Oh, well!" He placed the note on his supervisor's desk and continued with his merry day.

* * *

Kyoya and Haruhi met up outside of the restaurant and quickly left. The last thing they needed was to spend a night in jail. The press would have a heyday with that information. The youngest Ohtori in jail with a girl of questionable lineage? If that got out, Kyoya would probably be disowned and disinherited.

They walked the five blocks to the hospital in record time. Haruhi posed another question.

"Kyoya, what do you intend to study in college?"

"Actually, I don't know." _WHAT??? Kyoya doesn't have something planned out to the last detail?_ "My father intends to announce his successor the night after I graduate Ouran. If I'm chosen, I will study business. If I'm not chosen, I'm going to study medicine." _Oh. Technically, he does have a plan,_ Haruhi thought. _It just hinges on the decisions of his father._

"Do you know what area of medicine in particular? Pediatrics? Cosmetic surgery?" Haruhi was kidding about the latter.

"Nothing to do with plastic surgery, I assure you. Aside from that, well, I haven't decided. More likely than not, I'll pick my specialty in medical school."

"And here we are." Kyoya announced, as they were in front of the hospital. Haruhi had never seen a hospital that looked quite like this one; instead of the typical whitewashed walls and logo, the building had mirrored walls and a sleek design. He held open the door for her and they went in.

Haruhi followed Kyoya through the lobby, a waiting room, and several long, labyrinth-like hallways. When Haruhi was beginning to think that they were lost, Kyoya finally found the doctor he was looking for.

"Dr. Takashi!" An extremely tall man in a doctor's coat turned and walked towards the pair.

"Ohtori-sama. How can I help you?" Dr. Takashi was obviously a man of few words, but he seemed incredibly kind. He had a very large frame; tall and muscular, with short, dark hair and a composed face.

"Unfortunately, we and our companions have been locked out of our hotel for the night, and none of us have the means or transportation to secure a place to sleep. Do you have two offices to spare for a night?" Dr. Takashi thought about it.

"We can spare one office for tonight. Two is out of the question, however. Half of the trauma staff is here working overtime as there was a train crash downtown. Many of the doctors refuse to leave long enough to go home and sleep, so they are sleeping in shifts in the offices. I can clear my personal office, but can't possibly open another. I'm sorry." Any other person would have had to take several minutes to explain the dilemma; Dr. Takashi, on the other hand, spoke clearly and definitively. It was very nice not to have to deal with the usual flattery and sucking-up that occurs when one's boss is in the vicinity. Haruhi could see why Kyoya had directed Mei and the twins to ask for him.

Dr. Takashi suddenly went into alert mode. He had seen something that was not good.

"It's Masahiro. Quick, Ohtori-sama – in here." Dr. Takashi opened the closest door and motioned for Kyoya to get in. Once Kyoya was in, Takashi picked up Haruhi like she weighed nothing at all and placed her in there as well. He shut the door on the two – and not a moment too soon.

Kyoya and Haruhi could see shadowy figures through the artfully warped and distorted glass of the door.

Masahiro stalked by with an entourage of nervous doctors behind him. He was flanked by two men who could only be described as gigantic. He then began to question Dr. Takashi in an irritated manner about the sudden influx of patients from the train crash and how they were to be cared for. That conversation was obviously going to take a while.

Once they knew that they weren't going to be discovered, Kyoya and Haruhi began to size up the situation. They were effectively locked in what appeared to be a storage closet. The smallest storage closet either of them had ever seen. It couldn't have been more than three feet deep and four feet wide. It was almost completely dark, and Kyoya's pant legs were brushing against Haruhi's bare calves. It was uncomfortable, in the sense that Haruhi was getting stabbed in the back by a shelf stocked with cleaning supplies. Haruhi started talking to Kyoya, because they were going to be in the closet for a while, and it would take her mind off of the pain in the small of her back.

"Why are we hiding from your brother?" Kyoya tensed slightly. Haruhi had guessed this was a sore subject.

"Whenever I run into him at the hospital, he gets angry. He knows that I intend to compete for the company, yet when he sees me here, its concrete proof that I'm competition. A reminder, I assume That last time he saw me here, he fired two nurses and a doctor; he claimed they were violating hospital doctrine. Nobody knows what their actual transgression was, or if they were just innocent bystanders. Therefore, the staff knows not to let us come into contact here. It's for their safety just as much as mine." That just his presence in conjunction with his sibling's could end careers was awful.

"I am so sorry, Kyoya." Haruhi's apology was heartfelt. She couldn't imagine what the rest of his life was like, if even seeing his sibling could incite such trouble.

The next several minutes passed in silence.

Finally, Haruhi couldn't take it anymore. The indent in her back from the stupid shelf would probably never go away. She didn't care if it was awkward or that there was absolutely no space besides this spot where she wouldn't be touching Kyoya.

"Kyoya, I need to move. There's a shelf digging into my back, and I don't think I can stand here much longer." Haruhi inched forward, but in doing so her heel, which was entangled in a plastic bag, pulled the loop it was ensnared in tight and tripped her. She then fell onto Kyoya and nearly triggered an avalanche of cleaning supplies. His arms automatically wound around her waist to steady her.

"S-sorry. I'll-" Haruhi tried to pull away, but Kyoya just pulled her closer.

"Its fine, Haruhi. Besides, isn't it more comfortable like this?" Haruhi had to agree with him. She wrapped her arms around Kyoya and hugged him, trying to convey everything she couldn't say with the simple gesture. Apparently he understood exactly what she was trying to say and everything that she was afraid to, as he tilted her chin up and kissed her. Haruhi slid her hands from his back and put them around his neck, entangling her fingers in his silky hair.

Occupied as they were, the two didn't notice the figures in the glass moving away, their argument fading down the hall. They jumped apart at the click of the door handle turning. Haruhi slammed into the previously offending shelf and sent what seemed like an endless flow of cleaning supplies tumbling to the floor.

Light flooded the cramped space and illuminated a very red-faced Haruhi and a seemingly composed Kyoya. The cleaning supplies that had accumulated on the floor spilled out into the hallway; the lone bottle left on the shelf fell, and clattered loudly on the floor.

The doctor who had opened the door was unfazed by it all.

"Ohtori-sama, Masahiro has left for the night. He won't be returning. You are free to move about the hospital as you wish. Dr. Kasanoda has a question for you, however. If you could please attend to the matter, this young lady and I will find a vacant office for you." Kyoya nodded and went in search of the man. Haruhi watched him go in a daze, shocked at what had just occurred in that cramped closet and wondering what she had done to deserve him.

"If you'll follow me please, Miss…" he trailed off questioningly.

"Just Haruhi, please." Haruhi hated being called 'Miss'.

"Haruhi, then. I'm Dr. Minami. Pleasure to meet you." He held his hand out, and Haruhi shook it. Dr. Minami had sandy blonde hair and a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. He was, like the majority of people, taller than Haruhi. His face was open, friendly.

"You're a lucky girl, Haruhi. Kyoya is an incredible guy. I've worked here for nearly seven years, and he's the only Ohtori, or really, the only man of that stature that is a decent human being. How anybody in that position could still retain on ounce of kindness is beyond me, but he does. He's busier than you could believe, but he still makes time to come in and make sure everything is still running smoothly here at least once a week. I'm guessing he does so at some of the other facilities as well, but he won't tell me where else he visits." Dr. Minami clearly held Kyoya in very high esteem.

"He sure is amazing." Haruhi added. They rounded the corner of the hall and peered through office windows, looking for a vacant room. Every office they looked in held slumbering doctors and nurses, the overworked heroes of the hospital.

"Here we go!" Dr. Minami had found an empty office. When they entered, Haruhi saw that the four of them would be in cramped quarters for the night. It was amazing that the hospital could even spare an office, considering how full the building was at present.

"If we push the furniture into the storage room over there, there should be just enough room for…how many of you are staying here?" he asked.

"Five; me, Kyoya, Mei, and the Hitachiin twins." Haruhi answered.

"Oh Lord." Dr. Minami said. "Hikaru and Kaoru?"

"Yes. Have you met them before?" His apprehension made complete sense; Haruhi could only imagine the trouble those two would get into in a hospital full of sharp objects.

"Only once, but that was more than enough. They stole two doctors' uniforms and paraded around this very hospital making a complete and total mess of things. They destroyed several thousand dollars worth of equipment and broke an RN's leg. Complete disaster. Anyway, let's move the lighter stuff into the storage room across the hall, and when Kyoya comes back, he can help me with the desk." They proceeded to do so; once they were finished, Dr. Minami and Haruhi sat on the floor and chatted amiably for several minutes.

Haruhi had assumed that whenever the doctors and nurses saw Kyoya, they would take the time to acknowledge him or something like that. With the fear that his surname alone inspired, she doubted he would just be able to walk into the hospital unnoticed. But when they had walked in, everybody ignored him. When he addressed someone, they were formal, did whatever he wanted, etc, but unless singled out the employees just kept working. When Haruhi asked Dr. Minami about this, he shed his joking manner and became serious.

"Kyoya requested it, actually. We used to drop whatever we were doing and bow when any of the Ohtori's would walk by. We still do, for the rest of his family. He insisted that it would be more advantageous if he could walk unnoticed through the halls, as Masahiro would be less likely to notice him, and it didn't waste time staff time on what he deemed 'unnecessary formalities'."

"And speaking of Kyoya…" Hikaru drawled as he, Kaoru, and Mei entered the office. "Where is he?"

"I see you folks have a lot of catching up to do," Dr. Minami interrupted. "I'll talk to you later, Haruhi. And remember what I said earlier." Haruhi knew exactly what he meant. She was thinking it too.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is so long! I really love it, though. I hope you guys agree with me!**

**HOLY SMOKES!!!! I have nearly 450 reviews as I type this. I had no idea everybody likes this so much!**

**Anybody feel like reviewing? **


	6. OHSFH

**A/N: How many things will I forget to tell you, my amazing readers? Kaoru and Hikaru are **_**very **_**much together in this fic.****I haven't put any twincest in here because, quite frankly, I can't write it. I love them, but it just doesn't work right for me. I can't write a HikaxKao **_**anything**_** that sounds half as good as this. I've tried, but alas, my attempts are pathetic. I leave that to others, who do it wonderfully. **

**STUPID TYPO ALERT!! On the last chapter, I said I had 450 reviews. I meant 450 views. I was checking it over, and realized how dumb that mistake was. **

**This chapter is for Em (U.K). Doubt you'll ever read this, but you're still an amazing friend (unless you tell people I write fanfiction). LOVE YOU - Z.B.**

**Without further ado, chapter 6 - The O.H.S.F.H. **

Dr. Minami walked through the door, started down the hall, and then turned back.

"Wait a second. Boys, could you please move this desk to storage across the hall? It weighs too much for Mei and Haruhi, I'm afraid." He then exited the room.

"Fine. Whatever." Hikaru didn't seem too happy about having to move the desk. It looked very heavy, and the last thing he wanted to do was move furniture when they could be interrogating Haruhi. With some grumbling and help from Kaoru, the desk left the room. While the boys were held up with the locked storage room door, Haruhi sat down with her back to the wall. Mei sat opposite her, giving Haruhi no opportunity to escape.

"Sooooo…" Mei said, dragging the word out ominously. "How was your night? Did you miss me?"

Haruhi shot her a glare worthy of Kyoya.

"Fine. How about you, Mei? How was the corner of Seventh and East?" Haruhi may have had a phenomenal evening with Kyoya, but there was no way she would tell Mei that.

"Lovely! The food was fantastic. Why didn't you and Kyoya show up? You just disappeared." Haruhi was confused, which was exactly what had been intended.

"Food? Mei, what on earth are you talking about? Isn't Seventh and East a street corner?" Haruhi was beginning to think this was her mistake.

"Nope! It's a restaurant. Oh, Haruhi. Thought we ditched you, didn't you?" In all actuality, Mei and the twins had ditched them. They didn't know Seventh and East was a restaurant until they entered the name in the GPS on Kaoru's phone. They had wondered if an intersection of Seventh and East actually existed, and when the name of the restaurant showed up, they had realized the perfect alibi had fallen into their laps.

"To say the least. Oh, wow." Haruhi sighed. "That was a pretty bad mistake."

"Doesn't matter. Well, what did you guys do instead?" Mei asked. Haruhi hesitated slightly, unsure what she should say. Then she decided that she would tell the truth, just not all of it.

"We went to dinner. And then we came here. Nothing much." Haruhi was attempting to sound casual, but failing miserably.

"Where? What did the place look like? How was the food?" Mei fired questions at Haruhi.

Ironically enough, Haruhi was saved from answering by the return of the twins. Temporarily, anyway.

"Hey, Haruhi." Kaoru and Hikaru took a seat on either side of Mei, which meant that they were sitting in a line facing her. This was probably the scariest thing Haruhi had ever seen. Ever.

"Going to tell us everything?" Hikaru inquired menacingly. On the inside, he was cracking up. When did he ever get to have this much fun?

"There isn't much to tell." Haruhi said matter-of-factly. "We tried to meet up with you guys. We decided that you had ditched us, and then went to dinner. After that, we called you guys and walked here."

"Bo-oring!" The twins exclaimed simultaneously.

"Surely more than that happened, Haruhi!" Kaoru added.

"Nothing did. What do you think I would have done, anyway?" Haruhi asked. What else could have happened?

"Well," Hikaru said. He glanced at Mei, then looked at Haruhi; his face was pure mischief. "There are so many options to choose from, Haruhi. I just don't know where to start. How about a bar, a club, a strip club with a bar…the possibilities are limitless."

The questioning continued, but Haruhi stuck to her cut and dry story. The twins quickly grew bored, and so did Mei. Footsteps echoed in the hallway; as the door was closed, the small room's occupants couldn't hear anything.

The door opened.

Mei jumped. Hikaru and Kaoru grabbed each other, knowing that they were about to face the wrath of the Shadow King. Now they were anything but bored; they were terrified. Haruhi, on the other hand, was fine. She was facing the door, but Mei and the twins had their backs to the entry. Therefore, she could she Kyoya's face, which looked like business, as usual. Kyoya smiled when he saw Haruhi looking at him. He walked around the partners in crime to sit next to Haruhi.

She sighed in relief. They wouldn't dare try anything else with Kyoya next to her. He was sitting very close to her, she noticed. Close enough that Haruhi could smell the cologne he was wearing – whatever it was, it smelled amazing. Spicy, but with an undertone of citrus. It was a very strange combination, but it suited Kyoya perfectly.

Haruhi zoned out. She was exhausted, and the combination of sleep deprivation and close proximity to Kyoya was destroying any ability she'd had to concentrate. She let the voices wash over her, and fell asleep.

Kyoya hadn't noticed that Haruhi was falling asleep until she tilted over and landed on his lap, her head facing his shoes. He let her sleep, and stroked her hair. Realizing that they should probably not anger Kyoya further, the twins started talking to Mei quietly. This decision to save themselves lasted approximately half an hour, until twins grew bored of their discussion with Mei on textiles.

They decided to make things a little more interesting. Kaoru, having the more innocent demeanor of the twins, ran out of the room and asked the first doctor he saw where he could find a pitcher of icy cold water. Having found one, he ran back into the room. Before Kyoya could protest, Hikaru grabbed the pitcher from Kaoru and dumped it on Haruhi. Because Haruhi had been sleeping on Kyoya's lap, the freezing water went all over him as well. Haruhi's entire upper body was soaked, and so was Kyoya.

And thus, with every member conscious, the Ohtori Hospital Sleepover from Hell commenced.

* * *

"We are going to play a game!" the twins announced excitedly. "It's a commoner game called 'Truth or Dare'!" Haruhi groaned. Mei was extremely fond of playing this at big parties. The last time Haruhi had let herself be dragged into a game of this, she'd been forced to spend the night sleeping on Mei's balcony is a silky, frilly, _little_ nightdress. That alone would have been horrendous, but Mei's apartment was on the fifteenth floor and it had been snowing. Haruhi hated Truth or Dare.

"And if you don't play," Kaoru added, "we have a, friend, shall we say? A friend who offered us this little security tape of the second floor from earlier tonight. We haven't seen the contents yet, but if you refuse to play, not only will we watch it, but we'll give it to Renge." Even Kyoya knew he couldn't get out of this. Renge was the school's biggest otaku. Give her dirt on any person, couple, teacher, anything, and it was guaranteed that not only would everybody know by the next day, but if she liked the couple, she would start a fanclub and draw anime for the pairing. She was so scary that even Haruhi knew about her; at least, enough to know that if Renge saw that tape, she was dead.

"Fine." Kyoya said through gritted teeth. Hikaru trotted out the door.

"Where are you going?" Kyoya asked. Hikaru flashed him a grin.

"Can't play truth or dare without a bottle, now can we?" He left in search of a vending machine.

"Can we at least put some dry clothes on?" Haruhi added. The twins and Mei conferred briefly.

"Not a chance!" Mei said. "This makes everything _waay_ more interesting." Haruhi was now scared. The look on Mei's face was similar to that of a piranha stalking a very tasty fish

Hikaru came back, the water bottle held triumphantly aloft.

"SCORE!" he said. "Now we can get this party started." He made everybody sit in a circle in the center of the room. Haruhi was seated with her legs crossed between Kyoya and Kaoru; Mei was sprawled on the floor between Hikaru and Kaoru.

"We're going to play a slightly different version than usual," Mei decided. "Each turn has a time stipulation included. If you fail to answer the question or complete the dare inside of the time limit, an incredibly awful truth or dare will be devised by whoever issued the original truth or dare. Got it?" Everyone nodded.

"I'm going first!" Mei added. She placed the bottle in the middle of the circle and spun it. After several hushed seconds, it landed on Kaoru.

"Truth or Dare?" Mei asked lazily; she was saving her wickedness for Haruhi's turn.

"Dare." Kaoru replied nonchalantly. Mei thought for a moment, then inspiration came.

"I dare you to go find a nurse's uniform, then dress Hikaru in it. And he _can't _take his own clothes off – you've got to do it for him. Now hurry up. I'll give you," she checked the clock, "five minutes, starting now. Go!" Kaoru smiled deviously. He nearly sprinted out of the room.

Two minutes and some odd shrieking noises later, Kaoru came back with a rumpled nurses uniform and a red mark that looked suspiciously like a hand across his face. Haruhi snickered.

He then dragged Hikaru into the windowless storage room across the hall. Mei watched the hands on the clock move. Kaoru was down to seventeen seconds when he and Hikaru rushed into the office, flushed. Kaoru was carrying the clothes Hikaru had shed, including his boxers, and Hikaru…he looked angry.

The outfit Kaoru had obtained didn't come much farther than the top of his thighs. Obviously the woman who had worn the outfit was much shorter than Hikaru, but the same width. It was pale pink with white piping. It even had a peaked hat. Basically, it was extremely short and skin tight.

When Haruhi asked Kaoru the next day who would wear that kind of outfit in Ohtori hospital, when the nurses uniforms there were in pale purples and greens, and simplistically modern, he said that he actually had brought the outfit. He and Mei had planned this out beforehand, apparently. Hikaru had pulled some prank on the two of them earlier, so this was payback.

"Awesome!" Kaoru said.

"I don't see how this dare hurt _him_…" Hikaru grumbled. Kaoru just ignored him. They rejoined the circle in their original spots.

"My turn!" Kaoru spun the bottle…it landed on Kyoya. Perfect.

"Kyoya, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Kyoya, of course, played it safe. Bad choice.

"Are you gay? Fifteen seconds to answer. Go." Mei laughed. Straight to the point.

"No." Kyoya replied immediately. The twins looked at each other, than burst out laughing.

"But…we figured…" They couldn't even finish the sentence; it dissolved into hysterical laughter.

Hikaru wiped tears from his eyes and sat up. Oh Kami. It was Kyoya's turn.

Kyoya reached one slender hand out and spun the bottle. It landed on Mei. Poor thing.

"Mei?" He asked. A look of indecision was plastered on her face. Either way, this was going to be awful.

"Dare?" She couldn't even say it without second-guessing her choice. She knew that she had chosen wrong when she saw the smirk gracing Kyoya's features.

"So, Mei. Do you know who Dr. Takashi is?" Kyoya looked downright scary as he asked this.

Mei nodded.

"He will be here for another, oh, twenty minutes. You need to walk into his office and give him a lapdance. You have fifteen minutes to do so and return. Starting now. Oh, and please keep your clothes on." Mei ran.

The second the door slammed behind her, Kyoya walked over to the wall and pulled a latch from what appeared to be a seamless section of the wall. Underneath this hidden panel was a safe that couldn't have been more than five inches square, with a minute, gleaming keypad attached to the front. Kyoya keyed in a complicated sequence of numbers and pulled a remote from the depths of the compartment. Turning around, he pressed two buttons. The first closed the blinds in the office, and the second lowered a screen from the ceiling. Displayed on this screen was live video and audio feed from each camera in the hospital. Kyoya selected a feed and blew it up to cover the entire screen. An unsuspecting Dr. Takashi was reading a complicated looking file when Mei practically flew into his office. Haruhi spared the clock a quick glance. Less than two minutes had passed.

What happened next was simply too awful for words.

* * *

Haruhi couldn't stop laughing. Where on Earth had Mei learned to lapdance?

Noting that Mei was leaving Dr. Takashi's office, Kyoya turned the screen off and it slid into the ceiling. He put the remote back into the safe and closed it. It was as if nothing had happened.

Mei walked into the room, her face beet red and her skirt wrinkled.

"Kyoya, I hate you." she declared, before reclaiming her spot on the floor. Eager for revenge, Mei twisted the bottle.

Hikaru. Dangit. Mei was just itching to get Haruhi and get some revenge.

"Hikaru?" Mei asked.

"Dare." Mei was feeling vindictive.

"Go find a male doctor, and seduce the first one you see. You have seven minutes to return here with a name and a phone number. Got it?" Hikaru didn't even bother replying. He just left.

He returned with a name and a number. Plus, he was wearing cat ears. Hikaru ripped the ears off and threw them at Mei. Laughing, she put them on.

He spun the bottle, and…Haruhi. Uh-oh.

"Haruhi? Truth or Dare?" Hikaru asked. It was on.

"Dare." Haruhi couldn't believe she had answered that, but then again, she couldn't believe that this night had even happened. Hikaru gave her a gleaming grin reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat.

"Oh, Haruhi. What shall I do with you? Let me see." Hikaru tapped his cheek with his finger. Then he got it.

"Sensually remove Kyoya's shirts. He can't wear either of them for the rest of the night. Oh, and you have to wear them instead. You have three minutes to get him out of them and to get in them. Go!" Haruhi was absolutely mortified, but she was even more scared of the penalty if she didn't do it.

In this moment, Haruhi wasn't sure whether she loved or wanted to kill Hikaru.

Kyoya turned to face her, and Haruhi didn't know what happened. She got a whiff of his cologne, and it was like her hormones just took over.

**

* * *

**

Needless to say, by the end of the ordeal Mei and the twins were in stitches, and Kyoya…well, he was shocked.

Haruhi just sat there innocently, wearing Kyoya's two silk shirts layered over her green silk dress. Well, she looked innocent. Obviously, she sure wasn't.

That was possibly one of the most embarrassing things she had ever had to do, but Kyoya looked like a demi-god with no shirt on. Flawless muscles, porcelain skin…Haruhi shook her head. Probably better not to get distracted.

She picked up the bottled and twisted it. Kaoru.

"Kaor-" Haruhi didn't even get to finish.

"Truth." Kaoru didn't want to lapdance someone. Unless it was Hikaru, but he doubted that would happen.

"Are you involved in a physical relationship with someone? And if yes, how far have you gone? Ten seconds." That wasn't a typical Haruhi question.

"To the first question, yes. As for the second," Kaoru paused, stalling for time, "well, you see," three seconds were left. "I've maybe, possibly, lostmyvirginity!" He crammed this last statement into the last second remaining, making it incomprehensible.

Only Kyoya had gotten that last part.

"To who?" Kyoya asked. Kaoru blushed. His eyes darted to Hikaru to gauge his reaction for a fraction of a second, but both Haruhi and Kyoya saw the slip.

"I-I'm not saying." He shook his head. Haruhi looked at Kyoya questioningly. She raised her eyebrows, and looked at Hikaru, then Kaoru. He nodded. She looked a little shocked, her petite mouth forming an 'o' of surprise, then she smiled.

It was a weird concept. Incest, but between twins. Twincest? Not acceptable to society, but for Kaoru and Hikaru, it seemed…right, somehow. Like they just belonged together. It made sense, in a unusual way. As if they were fated to be.

Kaoru interrupted Haruhi's musings on destiny and fate.

"My turn." He spun the bottle, and got Hikaru. Interesting.

"Hikaru? What'll it be?" Kaoru inquired.

"Dare. And make it interesting. I'm getting bored." Hikaru was fiddling with a button on the cuff of his shirt, feigning disinterest in the entire affair he had initiated.

"Ok. Let me think." Kaoru did just that for several seconds.

"Hikaru, come over here, please." Kaoru's voice was light, innocent. The polar opposite of what he was thinking. Hikaru pushed Mei out of the way and sat next to Kaoru.

"Yes?" Hikaru asked.

"I dare you to...confess who you love. To everyone, not just me. You have thirty seconds, and you better make it sappy. You don't want to get the penalty for this, trust me." Hikaru took a very deep breath.

"Kaoru," he began.

"You mean absolutely everything to me. You are my world, my light, the reasoning behind every motion in my insignificant existence…" he waxed on eloquently for the remaining 24 seconds. Kaoru was snickering. He loved, more than anything else, messing with Hikaru.

And so the night continued on, as the moon rose and shone through the window, casting an ethereal glow on the office.

**If it wasn't clear, the title for this chapter, "O.H.S.F.H.", stands for Ohtori Hospital Sleepover from Hell. Just in case I didn't make this clear enough.**

**Anyway, sorry about the late update. Had another tournament, and had to sneak onto the computer at two in the morning to get this started. I haven't 'come out' to my parents yet that I read and now write fanfiction, and so I have to hide all of the stuff I do related to and anime in general. It's a pain.**

**I'm starting to think about my next fic – don't worry, DT isn't over yet, but I like to think ahead. I've got an idea, but I just wanted to ask. What would you guys like to see next? I have quite a few ideas (including another Haruhi & Kyoya, a Kaoru & Kyoya, and even *gasp* a Hikaru & Haruhi fic). What do you guys want to read? Put your answer in your reviews, or even better, vote in the poll on my profile. That way I won't forget what you guys say.**

**Please review/vote in aforementioned poll! **

**And thank you to everyone who is reading this – you guys are amazing!**


	7. The Aftermath

**A/N: I'm **_**extremely**_** sorry this is so dang late. I tried the best I could to get this written, but I've been insanely busy. As for the chapter, it's basically wrap-up and kissing. **

**This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed so far – especially Menganes Ultimate Fangirl. Not only was she my first reviewer **_**ever**_**, but she has reviewed every chapter so far with actual constructive criticism and praise. She's awesome.**

**Finally, at long last, I present to you the final chapter of Downtown.**

Morning found the four teens sprawled on the floor of the office, sleeping. Hikaru and Kaoru had fallen asleep holding hands, and were lying near the door. Hikaru was still decked out in his pale pink nurse uniform, and Kaoru was sleeping with his head on the pile of Hikaru's discarded clothing. Mei, it turned out, was a very deep sleeper, but she muttered strange, incomprehensible things in her sleep. She was lying on the floor, back against the wall. Haruhi and Kyoya had fallen asleep several feet apart from each other, but they didn't end up that way. One of them had rolled over during the night.

Kyoya had one arm under Haruhi's neck and the other looped around her waist. Haruhi was curled up against him, her head on his chest and her arm around his neck. Kyoya looked freezing, as he was shirtless. Haruhi, on the other hand, looked very cozy. Kyoya was very warm, as were his shirts.

The group had stayed up until nearly four, continuing the game until it trailed off into a very long-winded discussion of Ouran teachers. From here, the conversation degenerated, until the earliest hours of the morning, when Mei nodded off. Kyoya had stayed up so late due to the fact that if he went to sleep first, the twins were due to prank him in some manner. As soon as Mei was out and the twins were drawing on her and snickering, he had practically passed out. Haruhi hadn't been able to sleep because of that energy drink Kyoya had given her earlier. It had worn off around four in the morning, and when the last streams of caffeine had worn off, she'd crashed.

Mei had fallen asleep before any of the others, but the twins were feeling generous – the only thing they had done to her was sketch complex mathematical equations in permanent marker everywhere on her body. Legs, stomach, arms, neck – everywhere decent except her face, in fact. Kaoru fell asleep before they got decorate her face, and Hikaru couldn't finish it on his own, as he sucked at math. Kaoru had been the one providing the equations – Hikaru just scribbled on Mei. Kaoru had especially gotten a kick out of the equation P(r)=N C R PR QN-R, as below it he had written 'binomial experiment'. This would have been funny enough, but he'd had Hikaru write it above Mei's chest, and he'd filled in the equation with Mei's chances of getting lucky. When Kaoru tried to explain it to Hikaru (binomial experiment – right above Mei's boobs? Bi, meaning two? It's a probability equation, so Mei's chances of getting lucky were written in), Hikaru had just said "Kaoru, it's three a.m. I don't get it."

Kaoru thought it was funny, anyway. Kaoru was a bit of a secret math geek.

The peace in the office was undisturbed, until a very harassed-looking RN with the darkest circles under her eyes opened the office door frantically and slammed it into Hikaru's head. Whoops.

Several things then occurred, nearly simultaneously.

Hikaru, half–asleep and experiencing a splitting pain in the right side of his head, started spewing profanity.

Kaoru woke up and wondered why Hikaru was so loud.

Finally, the overworked, exhausted RN apologized and quickly shut the door, because she had seen Kyoya, and knew, like every other employee in the building, that they had stayed up very, very late (the workers had all heard the assorted noises coming from the office throughout the night). And as every Ohtori employee knew extraordinarily well, waking up Kyoya after he had barely slept was just asking to die painfully and slowly.

"Hikaru, st-" Kaoru started to say, before Hikaru covered Kaoru's mouth with his hand.

"Shhh." Hikaru whispered, before pointing to Kyoya's slumbering figure with his free hand. "Quiet."

Kaoru nodded, and Hikaru removed his hand from his twin's mouth. Kaoru stretched, then sat up. He glanced at the clock, and did a double take. Oh no.

"HOLY EFFING ****!" Kaoru yelled. At the top of his lungs, no doubt. It was seven thirty.

The allotted time for on-demand films started at eight a.m. sharp. If a team didn't check in at this time, they were disqualified. And if Hikaru and Kaoru got disqualified, well….there went so much time and effort it was ridiculous.

Mei started awake.

"Whus goin' on?" she said incoherently. The twins ignored her, having a bigger problem at hand. She then noticed that her body had become a shrine to math. She looked around, and spotted the marker the twins had used. She then proceeded to uncap it, throw it as hard as she possibly could at Hikaru, and storm out of the room.

Realizing what he had just done and who else was in the room, Kaoru turned his head to glance at Kyoya. He was giving the twins a look that practically screamed 'I am going to kill you.' Kaoru had never seen anything that was half as scary as that face. It looked like something out of his nightmares – Kyoya coming to kill him. After conveying his message of murder, Kyoya put his head down and attempted to go back to sleep.

Hikaru and Kaoru went into a frenzy – finding their belongings, Hikaru reclaiming and then changing into his previously discarded clothes, and stealing Mei's abandoned cell phone. Although the last item on the list was unnecessary, it made life a little more interesting for the twins.

Once this had been accomplished, they moved on to the biggest challenge – waking up Haruhi and, more importantly, Kyoya.

Kyoya was such a bitch in the mornings because he had low blood pressure, according to Hikaru and Kaoru. This explanation earned him the nickname 'Low Blood Pressure Demon Lord', an epithet that was perfectly suited to his demeanor in the morning. Kami help those brave or insane enough to face his wrath.

The twins started with baby steps – they shook Haruhi's shoulder and attempted to wake her up. Unfortunately, this brought them into a very close proximity to Kyoya. Into the danger zone.

Haruhi looked over her shoulder at the twins, practically growled at them, then snuggled up to Kyoya again. He had brought her over to the dark side.

Hikaru and Kaoru looked at each other.

"What are we going to do?" Kaoru mouthed to Hikaru. His twin thought about it. There were several ways to go about this. The majority of these would more likely than not end up with Kyoya killing them, but a few seemed worthwhile.

The most promising was actually the most simplistic idea. Hikaru, the bait, would threaten with the security tape from the previous night. Kaoru, the target, would hide the tape in his pants so that nobody would grab it. Excluding Hikaru, nobody in the room would stick their hand down Kaoru's pants. And so their plan was put into action.

**

* * *

**

Five minutes and a _very_ angry Kyoya later, the couple was conscious and standing. At this point, Mei walked into the room with multiple coffees in hand, looking strangely happy.

In all actuality, she was madder than hell. When she had been standing in line for coffee, a couple of nerds had stood behind her and tried to analyze the equation that went up her thigh and under her skirt. At least, as Mei put it, that was their excuse for visually raping her.

From previous experience Mei knew that the ink wouldn't come off of her skin for three to four days. Which added up to three to four days of nerds gawking at her and asking if she had 'a calculator that could crunch those numbers'. Nerds had the worst pick-up lines.

As she was being subjected to this torture for a couple of days, Mei decided to enact her revenge on the twins. She had the perfect idea; and the opportunity in which to carry out her evil deeds, with a very public outcome. The thought of retribution put a smile on her face.

"Half-caf mochas!" she sang. Then she added, "…and a black coffee for you, Kyoya." He grabbed the aforementioned coffee and downed it in one drag, ignoring Mei's warning of "It's going to burn your mouth!".

Suddenly, his demeanor changed completely. To the twins, it looked like caffeine was the key to subduing Kyoya in the morning. That, or Haruhi combined with caffeine.

* * *

The twins hurried everyone downstairs, as they needed to rush to make the eight o'clock check-in.

It was pretty obvious that they wouldn't get to the hotel in time without some mode of transportation other than by foot, so Kyoya had a secretary arrange for a taxi to drive them. As they waited in the lobby, which was as gorgeous as the rest of the hospital, everybody collapsed into the comfy seating. And then Kyoya became conscious of the fact that he was walking around shirtless in _his family's_ hospital. Great way to maintain his reputation. He made a mental note to self to bribe every worker with a 3.1 percent raise – paid for from his personal account, naturally. Perhaps that would prevent this incident from reaching the ears of his father.

"Haruhi?" Kyoya asked. She turned to face him. "Could I have my shirts back? You look lovely in them, but I'm indecent." Haruhi nodded and began to unbutton the first garment. After a few moments of attempting to undo a stuck button, Kyoya realized he should probably help her.

"I think this will work better, Haruhi." He leaned over from his chair, which was placed adjacent to hers. His deft fingers had the troublesome button undone in a matter of seconds. Haruhi blushed, as Kyoya was pretty much undressing her. The twins looked over and scrambled to correct this 'inappropriate activity'.

"Ah-ah-ah, Kyoya! Save it for later!" Hikaru pushed Kyoya back into his chair, while Kaoru took the unbuttoned shirt Haruhi offered him and threw it over Kyoya's head.

Kyoya pulled the shirt off of his head and began buttoning it up. His hair was mussed, his pants wrinkled…he looked very provocative, to Haruhi. He looked up and caught her staring. His smile made her cheeks flush. _It isn't fair,_ Haruhi decided. _No one on Earth should have the right to look that good after getting three hours of sleep. _She had halfway removed herself from the second shirt when their ride arrived.

"TAXI'S HERE!" Kaoru yelled. The nurse behind the front desk glared. He looked at her guiltily, then continued on at a normal decibel level, "We've gotta go guys. Hurry up!"

Everybody scrambled from their seats and sprinted to the taxi. At this point, every second counted. They piled into backseat of the taxi – all five of them. Kyoya was pinned against the far window, with Haruhi on his lap. Mei was sitting next to him, with Kaoru on her other side, by the window. Hikaru was forced to sit at their feet, with his arms wrapped around his knees. If it was any other set of circumstances, he would never deem to sit on the floor of any car other than his own, let alone a _taxi,_ but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Where too?" the bewildered taxi driver inquired. He then started counting.

"Peninsula Hotel. And step on it!" Hikaru barked at him.

"Hey – only four people in this vehicle including me! Two of you need to get-"

Kaoru shut him up by yelling.

"DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FREAKIN' MESS WITH TWO HITACHIINS AND AN OHTORI?" The guy cowered, then took a shortcut and broke seven traffic laws. They got to the hotel in record time.

* * *

Since they had been in such a hurry to get to the hotel, nobody had remembered that taxis cost money. Luckily, the driver was so scared he forgot to ask for payment. The last thing they needed was an irate taxi driver hunting them down.

They practically fell out of the taxi when Kaoru opened the door. Well, Hikaru fell out and landed flat on his face. Everyone else managed to escape the cramped backseat without hitting the pavement. Hikaru got to his feet, and joined the others as the plowed through the imposing double-door entrance to the hotel. Once they were in the lobby, Kaoru sighed in relief. They were going to make it.

And then everybody froze, knowing that just the act of stepping into the hotel could equal their demise.

* * *

What awaited them in the lobby was little more than a deserted welcome desk. They had caught that small window of opportunity when the hotel doors were open but the secretary wasn't in yet.

Hikaru and Kaoru sprinted to the meeting and made it with seconds to spare. They took the remaining seats at the crowded table, and sighed in relief. That was a close call.

Mei, Haruhi, and Kyoya made their way up to their rooms, to shower, change into 'conference appropriate' clothing, get ready for the fashion show, and maybe sleep for a while. When the twins got back from their meeting, craziness was bound to ensue, and nobody had gotten enough sleep to deal with them.

They walked down the long hallway in near silence except for the soft taps of their shoes, too exhausted to talk. Haruhi and Kyoya were holding hands, and Haruhi was grateful Mei hadn't made any snarky comments about it. When the tired group reached their rooms, Mei slipped into the one she and Haruhi shared.

"If I don't shower first, Haruhi will steal all of the hot water!" she claimed. She shut the door behind her, leaving Haruhi locked out.

Haruhi just stood there; she didn't even try to get back into the room.

"Resistance is futile?" Kyoya asked, looking down at Haruhi. She looked right back at him, and chuckled.

"Yep. When Mei does this, there's no point in denying her. It's a fact of life."

The look Kyoya gave her sent shivers down her spine. He had bedroom eyes, Haruhi decided. An utterly unfair weapon to use against her.

"Looks like we have some time to ourselves." he said, unlocking and then holding the door to his room open for her. Haruhi walked into his room and flopped onto a sofa facing the panoramic window.

"You can shower first, if you want." Kyoya offered. He was looking through his suitcase for his notebook.

"Thanks." Haruhi said, dragging herself off of the couch to a much-needed shower.

After her very long, hot shower, Haruhi emerged from the bathroom wearing little more than a towel. Her wet hair wreathed her head in dripping curls.

"Hey Kyoya?" she asked, peeking around the door. Kyoya was lying on the hotel bed, intently working on something.

"Hm?" he intoned, focused on whatever he was neatly writing in a nondescript black notebook.

"What time is it?" He set his notebook down and checked the clock on the nightstand.

"8:20. So we have about half an hour until Mei barges in here screaming and asking why the hell you aren't ready for her fashion show, and a solid hour and forty minutes until the twins' meeting is over." He capped his pen and closed the notebook.

"Which leads me to the question…what should we do with all of this free time we have?" Kyoya asked; he got up and walked to where Haruhi was standing, leaning on the wall. She smiled.

"First, I am going to put on some clothes. After that, well, it's up to you, I suppose." Haruhi said. She disappeared into the bathroom again and shut the door.

She reappeared several minutes later, with her hair brushed out but still damp, wearing the dress from the previous night. Her cheeks were flushed from the steam, which looked adorable on her, Kyoya noticed. She shivered in the crisp air of the hotel room, wishing that she had a jacket.

"Oh, here's your shirt." Haruhi said; she laid it over the back of the desk chair. Walking into the sitting room of the suite, she saw the feast spread over the table – eggs, bacon, toast, caviar…_holy crap. Caviar?_

"I took the liberty of ordering breakfast. I don't know what you prefer, so I just got my usual and doubled the order - I figured you'd be hungry." He folded the newspaper he was reading and got up from the bed. He pulled Haruhi's chair out from the table for her and then sat down across the table from her.

Dumbfounded, Haruhi sat in the chair and scooted up to the table. Of course, the food was delicious. _Kyoya has exquisite taste. _Haruhi noted. _Not just in food, but in pretty much everything._

After consuming enough food for two people, Haruhi stood up to help Kyoya stack the dishes. Once they had finished, she examined his face.

"Kyoya, you need to get some sleep. You look awful." He grimaced.

"The last thing I want to do, Haruhi," He slid his arms around her waist and leaned in until his lips were a hair's breadth from hers, "is sleep." His lips touched hers, leisurely, softly. Haruhi gave in, and kissed him back with everything she had. One of his hands tangled itself into her hair, pulling her closer. It was searing – his lips were all she could feel, and she wanted more. Haruhi pulled back from lack of oxygen, but Kyoya's lips claimed hers again.

Gradually, their kisses became less hungry and more comforting.

"Kyoya, you need to sleep."

"Fine." He relented, pulling her onto the bed with him. "At least I'll have a comfy pillow."

Once Haruhi was settled, he put his head on her lap and fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Right on track with Kyoya's prediction, Mei burst into the room at 8:50, on the brink of a panic attack.

"Haruhi!" No response. She tried again, louder.

"Haruhi!"

"Ssh." Haruhi held her finger to her lips and pointed to Kyoya, asleep with his head in her lap. She was sitting with her back to the wall and her legs parallel to the headboard; Kyoya was sprawled along the length of the bed, completely out. Haruhi held the newspaper Kyoya had been reading earlier in one hand, the other absentmindedly stroking his hair.

"Mei. Just make the twins model. They don't care that much about cross-dressing, right?" Haruhi whispered. Mei snickered. This would be the perfect addition to her plan for retribution.

"Thanks Haruhi! Come watch if you have the chance!" Mei tiptoed over to the door and shut it quietly. She let herself into her room and smiled. She just loved it when her plans worked out perfectly. Then she pulled out her phone and texted Hikaru.

_Meet me in my suite the second that meeting is out. I need you two to model for me at the show._

_I know you're figuring out how to get out of this right now; if you two don't do this for me, I won't help with the movie. AT ALL. Pass this on to Kaoru._

* * *

The closing ceremonies were held in the grand ballroom the following day. Haruhi, Kyoya, and Mei grabbed a table near the front, and waited for the twins to show up. When they did, they looked awful - dark circles, messy hair, they were wearing the same clothes as yesterday, each with coffee in hand.

"Hey, guys." Mei said. "Get any sleep?" Hikaru groaned.

"Yeah right. Try eighteen coffees and two boxes of candy." Kaoru just slumped into his chair wordlessly.

"Kami, when is this going to start?" Hikaru grumbled, taking a seat next to Hikaru.

Twenty minutes and multiple death threats from Hikaru later, the awards ceremony finally started.

* * *

By the end of the night, their table was littered with glistening awards. Mei won third in fashion design – she would have gotten first, but when Haruhi suggested Mei use the twins as models, Haruhi didn't think about the fact that the tailoring would be off. Hikaru and Kaoru got to make their struts down the catwalk in shrunken, ill fitting women's clothing.

As for the twins…

Mei finally got her revenge on them. She had asked for a favor from Kyoya, and he willingly supplied the tapes because, as he put it, "I owe you one." Every dare the twins had participated in, from dressing in nurses' outfits to Hikaru's gushing confession, she had taken the sound clips and put them into the overlay instead of the intended sound effects.

The embarrassment from this was made even worse because the twins won on-demand film, and the top three are always played during the awards ceremony. By the end of their video, the judges congratulated them on their 'originality' and their 'fresh take' on the theme for the year. Kaoru and Hikaru were so mortified they hid under the table, and Kyoya had to go onstage to accept the award by proxy.

Haruhi won first in graphic design, naturally. When she sat back down at the table, her cheeks flushed with excitement, Kyoya slid her onto his lap.

"Congratulations." He murmured in her ear. "I knew you would win."

Haruhi didn't reply; she just turned around and kissed him. As his fingers ghosted along her shoulders, her arms, she wondered _how on Earth did I get so lucky?_

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has stuck with DT as I've written it. You guys are amazing – reviews, nearly 1000 views – it's crazy! I love you guys! I can't even express how grateful I am…not even close.**

**Okay guys, I have a one-shot and a multi-chaptered fic in the works. What do you want first? **

**-Kiri**


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